Today’s troubling American disposition

We can be better than this

Photo by Leonardo Yip on Unsplash

By Jim LaJoie 

I work with someone who recently experienced a disturbing incident, one that, unfortunately, seems all too prevalent in today’s America. 

This person is 27 years old and looks even younger. She does not have an ounce of meanness. She is someone who willingly helps others and never has an unkind word about another human being. She is polite and cares, maybe too much, for others. And none of this is contrived. It is who she is. She is a good kid. 

As nice as this colleague is, she is also human. She told me recently about how she inadvertently cut someone off in traffic.  She mouthed “I’m sorry” and tried to convey her apology the best she could while still driving. Her cutting the other person off did not cause any dangerous situation or possible traffic accident. She was, by her own admission, not paying attention when she cut him off. We have all done this or something similar. If it doesn’t result in an accident, I would suggest letting it go as the result of driving a car along with other human beings driving cars. Things will happen. 

Apparently, the guy she cut off didn’t see it that way. For some reason, he took this innocent mistake as a direct insult to his manhood. He raced around her car and then for a few miles would intermittently apply his brakes quickly forcing my colleague to hit her brakes. She should have called the cops at this point, but she was shaken and did not know how to respond.  Not having an alternative route to get home, she continued following him for a bit. At one point there was more than a single lane road and my colleague and the other guy both reached a stop light, side by side now. The guy pulled out a gun, tapped on the window, and smiled as my colleague looked over. She was completely freaked out, as she should have been. Again, her mistake was not calling the cops. 

I am not writing this at all to express my opinion on gun ownership, the second amendment, gun control or any other part of this very divisive issue. I am expressing, however, horror that anyone would get so pissed off in this situation that he would wave a gun at a young woman while at a red light for a minor driving indiscretion that must happen hundreds, maybe thousands of times, daily across America. 

Did he wave the gun at her after seeing how young and innocent she appeared? Would this tough guy have done the same with some big, hairy, muscular dude? Would he have done it to an elderly woman?  What the hell was the guy thinking? He most likely wasn’t. This scary incident finally ended for my colleague when the light turned green, and this guy raced off. She did not see him again after that. She got home, an emotional wreck, and melted into her boyfriend’s arms, sobbing. Even the next day, when telling me this, she was, understandably, very emotional. 

This incident sadly seems to typify where we are as a people: angry, snarling, irrational, quick to trigger, prone to adopting extreme views and overreacting, seeing everyone else as a dangerous foe. I have some thoughts as to how we got here, but I will leave that to smarter, more astute minds than I. Those reading this, in today’s hyper-partisan world, will likely blame “the other side.”  This isn’t a left/right, progressive/conservative issue.  It is an American issue. How do we get back to where being sensible and civil is our default position? Where, sure, someone cutting you off in traffic is an annoyance, but not one worth traumatizing a young woman and even possibly getting arrested or killing for. We were better than this as a people. We can be better than this as a people. How we get there, I don’t know.  

About the author: Jim LaJoie was born and raised in Massachusetts but fled the harsh winters by fleeing to North Carolina. He has lived more decades than he cares to admit.