Things that are true, cuz I believe them
Forgot what the "experts" tell you
By Credulo
Here are things that, because I believe them, are true:
Tariffs and trade wars are good. We will soon have the greatest economy the world has ever seen. Just listen to the president. It might take some time, just hang in there. In the meantime, repeat after me, with fingers crossed: “this is all going to turn out well, we will all be ok.”
Don’t blame the president for grocery prices still being high. Grocery prices are high because of the Biden administration, which everyone knows Obama secretly controlled. The Globalists want people to starve, that way they can control them. Any day now, because of the president’s policies, groceries will be so affordable you will be able to feed a family of four on less than $100 a week. Stores will be giving away eggs, they will be so cheap. I can’t say when prices will fall, but know it is coming soon. Could be next month, later this year, I’m not sure. I don’t want to commit to a timeframe because if it then didn’t happen I would have to come up with a reason, and the president’s opponents would have a field day. But believe me, grocery prices will fall, just hang in there. In the meantime, repeat after me, with fingers crossed: “this is all going to turn out well, we will all be ok.”
Don’t worry about the stock market. I believe the president is intentionally trying to crash the stock market so the Federal Reserve lowers interest rates. If the Federal Reserve lowers interest rates, we can all borrow money. This will lead to us regular people doing real well, just wait. The president is playing chess while the others are playing checkers. Besides, everyone knows the markets are controlled by a certain segment of the population, if you know what I mean. I don’t care that much, anyway, because all my money is tied up in crypto. I don’t exactly know what crypto is, but some high school kid up the street told me investing in it would make me a lot of money. He is a pretty bright kid, got a B in economics and is on the internet all the time, so I gave him what I had to invest for me. He said I would need to wait awhile to see a return on my investment. I trust him, he seems to be good at this, he just bought himself a new car, a Tesla.
Speaking of Tesla, Elon Musk is the richest man in the world, which proves he must be right about everything. Everyone knows the richer you are the better you are at everything, the more knowledgeable you are about government and the more you want to help the average American. So, you people who don’t like his involvement in the current administration, ask yourself this question: are you wealthy enough that you can build spaceships? No, I didn’t think so.
I also like what Elon is doing with DOGE. There are too many federal employees. I just wish he would do something about how long it takes to get someone on the phone with Social Security. Maybe needs to cut a few more employees.
I make sure I only watch, read and listen to unbiased media, like Fox news, the Daily wire, Infowars, any book by Ann Coulter and the Ben Shapiro podcast. If you aren’t doing the same, you are sheeples. Wake up, people!
Why should we care what happens to Ukraine? Putin and the president get along very well. Putin respects the presidency, maybe is even a bit afraid of him. The president will just tell Putin to leave Ukraine alone and that will be it. Problem solved!
We should take over Greenland. All it would take is sending some good ole boys from Texas to kick some butt, then build a classy Trump casino, a shopping mall or two and a Subway. America first! Right after making Canada the 51st state, we could make Greenland the 52nd. I was asked recently about making Puerto Rico the 51st state. I would be against that, they aren’t “American” enough. Recently, someone tried telling me that Puerto Rico is already a U.S. territory. Oh, sure, and Rhode Island isn’t Vatican-controlled, California isn’t Marxist and Area 52 doesn’t have alien bodies from the Roswell crash. You can’t fool me, buddy. Seriously, wake up people!
Tax cuts for the rich is a good thing. Everyone knows they historically have always taken care of us regular people. We wouldn’t have the NFL if it wasn’t for rich people. If there was no NFL, what would us regular guys do on Sundays in the fall and winter? Think, people, think!
I haven’t liked Canada since they sheltered all those hippie peaceniks during Vietnam. What I have read and heard is that nearly every one of the 40 million residents of Canada want the country to become the 51st state. It is only a handful of their leaders who don’t. Canadians want to be like America. That’s why they have let us win the NHL Stanley Cup every year since 1993.
Anyone who studies American history knows that the Founding Fathers wanted a strong presidency and weak legislative and judicial system. It says it right there in the Constitution somewhere. I don’t know where, because I haven’t read it, but someone I trust said it’s in there. And, if it isn’t it should be.
I believe in freedom of speech, except in some cases, like when you criticize the president or say things we true Americans think is wrong. That might be in the Bill of Rights, but I can’t say for sure, haven’t read that either. But, that is what I heard.
Andrew Jackson is my favorite president: he sure knew how to handle the immigrant issue, which at that time were the Native Americans.
I believe in States rights. Except the States who do things I don’t believe in, you know, like California, New York, Massachusetts. In that case, it should be up to the president. States rights should be kind of subjective.
I also believe that everyone should be free enough from governmental interference to lead the lives they want to. Except for those who try to lead their lives in a way I don’t agree with. Those people I consider Un-American. You know, like women who want control over their bodies, the gays, progressives, academics, scientists, Target executives, Unitarians and Lady Gaga.
Since I mentioned Lady Gaga: I think all these celebrities should just shut up and keep their politics to themselves. Ted Nugent, Brett Favre, Mel Gibson, Sylvester Stallone, Kid Rock and Roseanne Barr are exceptions because they are extremely knowledgeable.
Don’t believe the news about the measles “outbreak”. You know why there have been so many reported cases? It is the media’s fault. If they didn’t report on the increase in cases, people wouldn’t be freaking out over it. Sure officials will tell you that contracting measles could have long-term effects, but, hey, we could all be dead tomorrow, right? I have faith that RFK, Jr, a man untainted by “medical training” knows what is best for our health.
Keep this in mind: scientists don’t always have the answers. They just spout their opinions. That’s all science is, someone’s opinion. What do they know?
I’m in favor of abolishing the U.S. Department of Education. I was homeschooled and I lerned reel good. Public education indoctrinates you in believing many ideas those lefties want you to believe in, like the earth is round and older than 6,000 years (those “dinosaur” bones are planted and created by Hollywood special effects people) or climate change is caused by human behavior. My pastor told us most public school teachers are demon-possessed, and he must know, because the devil made him get seduced by that married parishioner. It’s over now, though, because the pastor wrestled those demons. He is good with God again. God told the pastor to kick that woman, and her wicked attractive ways, out of our congregation and find another church. God is good like that.
I want to finish by thanking all you good Americans who voted for the president in the biggest landslide presidential election in history. America is finally headed on the right track. We just need a little patience. So, just hang in there. In the meantime, repeat after me, with fingers crossed: “this is all going to turn out well, we will all be ok.”
About the author: Credulo knows more than the “experts.” As he is fond of saying: “no one is going to convince me of anything I don’t already want to believe in.”