Resiliency is a key to aging well
Hey, both Bette Davis and Meryl Streep can't be wrong
By Jim LaJoie, co-publisher, contributor
Although not completely surrendering to aging, I have conceded to it. Here I am, born in the latter end of the Baby boom era, with age 70 not close, but not that far off, either. I can neither avoid nor deny the obvious: I have aged, am aging, closer to the end than the beginning. On a daily basis there is always something that reminds me of that fact: I wake up feeling creaky, a popular singer is mentioned who I have never heard of, my dentist looks like she is barely out of high school, I see that strange guy in the mirror.
The average age of an American in 2025 was 38.5. I barely remember when I was 38-1/2.
I am old, by most standards.
The knowledge of this doesn’t leave me in despair. I am rolling with it. It is what it is (a phrase my wife hears me utter so frequently it may end up as my epitaph one day). I am fortunate to be in good health. I am fortunate in many ways. I don’t have any profound wisdom for my fellow-gray haired. Neither do I have all the answers to getting older gracefully and well. I will say, though, that if I have learned anything in life it is this: resilience is a key trait to possess in getting through all the many challenges life throws at you.
And life throws more at you in your older years.
The ability to be resilient in the face of adversity and change is an important trait no matter how old you are, but particularly for those of us who can hum along with a Carpenters’ song but think Cardi B is some sort of soft drink.
If anything helps getting through your older years it is resilience.
Merriam-Webster: Resilience is “an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change” Merriam-Webster.
Aging brings a host of challenges, physical, mental, emotional, financial and social. Meryl Streep is quoted as saying “getting older is not for the weak.” The lady is not wrong.
There are challenges to getting older. Some of those challenges are more daunting than others. These challenges will be far easier to traverse if you are resilient than not. In fact, resilience may be a key to living a longer and productive life.
The following is from The Center for Mental Health and Aging:
“In some studies, adults age 85 and older appear to have the same or greater capacity for resilience compared to those who are younger.
“In another study, researchers found that people aged 100 years and over were the most resilient among the older groups. And, 94–98 years old with high resilience were 43.1% more likely to reach 100 years than those with low resilience.” mentalhealthandaging.com
Without digging too deeply, a quick Internet search revealed some consensus on why some are more resilient than others: genetics, life (especially early) experiences, social support (or lack of), personality traits and learned coping skills.
I would (modestly) say that I possess a high degree of resiliency, or so I have been told. I have had many challenges in life, but have seemed to always get through them relatively unscathed (for those close to me: feel free to raise an eyebrow or two if you disagree). I don’t take credit for that, it may be just part of who I am. I will say, though, that I am grateful for being resilient. I know that with every year that passes, that personal trait will be put to good use and tested severely at times.
If you are someone who does not respond well to adversity or change, I would gently and sincerely say to you: find a way to change that, because it will help you get through all of the curveballs aging throws at you. If you feel you are already resilient: cling to that ability. You will need it.
To quote the legendary Bette Davis: “Getting older is not for sissies.”
She ain’t wrong.
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