On tap: thoughts on the administration, celebrities and other flotsam
Free bits of perspective, common sense and advice from one with experience
By Jack
A few words of common sense and advice from Jack, a guy who has been around a while:
The new administration has tried very diligently to portray itself as being for the American people, you know, the average person. They must be hanging with a much different crowd than I do, because there are a hell of a lot of billionaires in this new administration. Lesson here: if you have to say you are for the people, you probably aren't.
Trade wars aren’t good for the average American.
I grew up in a family that had to watch their pennies. My mother served us a lot of hamburger and eggs because they were affordable. Now, hamburger and eggs are practically a delicacy, reserved for those who can afford them, you know, like the people in this new administration. My advice: learn to love Raman noodles.
I could give two shits about this entire Blake Lively/Justin Baldoni drama. My advice: Pay no attention to celebrities, pay much attention to those close to you.
If you created a controversy over how you have saluted a crowd, invoking a defeated, evil regime, here's my advice: keep your damn arm down until you have mastered a simple wave of the hand.
I don't consider anyone a medical expert if they get their information from Facebook or Instagram. You'd have to be an idiot to listen to these people. Here's my take: don't be an idiot.
At my age, when I see a pretty girl it's like seeing a sports car: wouldn't mind driving one, but more comfortable with my old sedan.
I've noticed that as I've gotten older people tend to think I have gained some wisdom from living this long. The truth? Most days i forget where I put the TV remote. My advice: "…..um, what was I saying?"
I get a lot of junk mail, which pisses me off. I get a lot of junk email which pisses me off. I think a lot of music these days is junk, which pisses me off. I find a lot trends these days are junk, which pisses me off. Lesson learned here: I'm becoming a crabby old guy, obviously. My advice: keep your gripes to yourself until you’ve racked up enough birthdays where you can blame your crankiness on age.
Went to an Irish pub recently on a cold winter day. Had shepherd's pie and a Guinness (ok, maybe two). I don't have any advice here, other than I just remember that meal fondly. Damn, that was a good meal.
I'm at the point in my life where I have reading glasses tucked away every 10 feet. My advice: enjoy those young eyes while you can. Also, your young ears, your young knees, your young back….
I recently saw a young guy pumping gas in his pajamas and flip flops in 30 degree weather. My advice: put some damn clothes on before you leave the house!
Here’s my last bit of advice for the day: stop looking at your phone when others are talking to you. Do you have any idea how rude that is? My advice, and I can’t stress this enough: don’t be an ass.
About the author: “Who wants to know?”