Maintain a youthful mindset
Age is just a number, as two older woman recently reminded me
By Jim LaJoie
The motto here at Greybeard Journal, one geared to “those of a certain age”, is that we may be getting older but aren’t getting “old”. By that we mean we are striving to remain relevant, active, enjoying life. This is a core tenet we try diligently to uphold in our daily lives, believing age is a number, not a definition of who you are. You can allow yourself to become “old” or, regardless of numerical age, remain young at heart.
Recently, two women older than me reinforced the importance of retaining a youthful mindset.
One of them is my mother, who is about to turn 86. She still walks when she can, even if less regularly and far shorter, than she once did. She has always enjoyed working on some craft project or another and still does, although these days they are less ambitious than they once were. The other day my wife, the gift buyer in our family, suggested buying my mom a gift card to Hobby Lobby for her upcoming birthday. I wasn’t too enthused about going (for multiple reasons, including the company’s corporate politics), but it was for my mom, so felt somewhat obligated to join my wife. On the short drive to the store, I took note of how proud of my mother I was for still tackling new projects, some requiring new skills. Not many her age would be so willing. I say without bias that my mom is a rather youthful about-to-be 86.
Fortunately for me, there was a rack of differently themed gift cards at the very front of the store and my wife selected one rather quickly, at least for her. (My wife loves sending greeting cards to friends and family and can spend what I consider a very, very long time considering all possibilities before selecting the “perfect” one for that person for that occasion. Me? I am more of a grab-one-after-a-quick-scan-and-go kind of guy).
We jumped in one line that was long but less so than the other open register, and were waiting our turn when we noticed a woman, considerably older, behind us. Just before our turn came, we asked the woman if she wanted to go before us, which she eagerly accepted. My wife, who can talk to anyone at any time, started conversing with this woman who told us she was 97 years old. I was stunned. This woman was obviously older than us, but I would have guessed somewhere in her 80s. She was neatly dressed, her hair seemed to have been styled recently and she was very quick and articulate in responding to us in a strong, lighthearted, almost playful tone.
The looming centenarian told us she was purchasing a large metal basket as part of her continued efforts at keeping squirrels away from tulip bulbs she had planted. Her plan was to put the basket over the area where there were bulbs and was confident that would work. After completing her purchase, she said goodbye to us, letting us know she was off to meet her ride, who was waiting in the car. I felt a twinge of regret she left, she was an absolutely delightful woman, the type of person you enjoyed being around. I told my wife later that I just wanted to give this woman a hug but, of course, thought better of it. My wife laughed and said the woman probably would have liked that. If you can be a youthful 97, this woman hit the mark.
What both women seemed to have in common is a youthful mindset. by that I mean they have an innate good cheer, an openness to new experiences and learning opportunities, a willingness to remain as active physically and intellectually as possible at their age. Throw in a dash of playfulness and you have a youthful mindset.
A youthful mindset makes getting older easier. It creates a viewpoint of the world that you are still relevant, one open to new possibilities. It makes others of all generations enjoy your company.
You could take the opposite track, become curmudgeonly, set in your ways, isolated, closed off to the world. That’s not really living, it’s just biding time until the end, self-imposed imprisonment.
To maintain a youthful mindset doesn’t mean you have to act like someone decades younger. If you are of a certain age, I’m not suggesting you try to emulate someone decades younger. You can be age-appropriate while having a youthful outlook on life.
If you find yourself in a rut, take a class, join a club or local group, volunteer, do anything at all that gets you out and living again.
Go outside and kick a soccer ball with your grandchildren. Take a trip with someone you care about. Go to lunch with friends. Do something silly from time to time.
The photo accompanying this post is a stock image, but wouldn’t you want to know this woman? Doesn’t she seem like a lot of fun to be around? She obviously has a youthful mindset, a playfulness about her that makes you want to be around her.
Everyone will get older, the alternative is not desirable. Once we reach a certain age, especially if we have retired from the workforce or the kids have left the house, we will have a choice: continue being relevant or lapse into irrelevancy. The former comes from having a youthful mindset, the latter is just counting the days down.
You are still alive, enjoy it!
Hopefully at 86-years-of age I am still finding projects for myself like my mother. And, if I am fortunate enough to reach 97, that I am even remotely close to being the engaging person the woman from Hobby Lobby was.
I am going to remind myself daily to maintain a youthful mindset. Fortunately for me, even in my sixties, some would say I have an immature moment or two, so I may be off to a good start.
About the author: Jim LaJoie is a resident of North Carolina.
One of your best Jim!