Life Lessons Learned
I have learned some things in my time
By Jim LaJoie, co-publisher, contributor
Age has given me a chance to better reflect on my life. You don’t spend much time reflecting on your life in your youth because there has been less to reflect on. As the decades pile on, though, there is so much more.
I often reflect on what my life has meant and what I have learned. I’ll save the “what meaning has my life had?” for another post. This one will focus on what I have learned over my soon-to-be 67 years of living.
I have learned:
That being loved makes the rest of your life more meaningful.
That being present makes time seem to slow down. I have learned that fully embracing the moment is more important than wondering what comes next.
To enjoy without guilt what brings you pleasure. Assuming, of course, that it doesn’t involve some criminality.
To acknowledge, and fully embrace, that I am not the center of the universe. I have little tolerance for narcissistic, self-absorbed people. To be more blunt: I can’t stand them. I try to always keep in mind that I am one of many, many people on this planet. And many have come before me, many will come after.
To seek the qualities you admire in others and try to make them your own.
To be honest as often as possible. There are times a white lie may be the wisest course of action (“of course that looks good on you”) but honesty is a better path. In addition to being more appropriate, the truth is easier to remember than a lie.
Maybe I shouldn’t have worked so many hours during the course of my professional career.
That some friends are fun to hang around with. Some friends are like family. The former can be appreciated, the latter you should be grateful for.
The unconditional love dogs give you is humbling.
Even if you have no biological children of your own, if you are fortunate you have come across a younger person, or more than one, that you love as if they were your own. My wife and I have found two of these. We consider ourselves fortunate.
The Red Sox can win a World Series in my lifetime (and, so far, have done so four times).
That all people have value. Well, some more than others.
That at times it is better to hold your tongue for a more appropriate moment to share your thoughts. Timing, I have learned, is everything.
That I don’t have all the right answers. That my opinion is just that: my opinion, not gospel.
That something I like or don’t like doesn’t have to be something that everyone has to like or not like. To each their own.
That I should listen more than talk.
What my strengths and weaknesses are. I have learned to try to correct some of those weaknesses.
That my wife enjoys my sense of humor. Or, so she says.
That if you like to tease, you better be able to handle being teased. Otherwise, you are just a verbal bully. Also, be mindful of who you can tease and who you can’t. Some people are very sensitive, so keep your barbs to someone more thick skinned.
That although I once enjoyed snow as a younger resident of Massachusetts, now, I am very happily living in the Raleigh area with its low annual snow yields.
That less is often more.
That time is elusive.
To worry less about what might happen tomorrow.
That woman can be beautiful as they age if they focus more on what’s inside than outside. I see celebrities, once lovely women, who have butchered themselves with excessive cosmetic surgery. As best as I can determine, women like Helen Mirren, Julianne Moore, Marissa Tomei, and others are still beautiful without artificial help. Every wrinkle, those crows feet around your eyes, the softening features, are all a testament to a life lived. Embrace that. You have earned it.
Sometimes spending a bit more upfront will prove to be the most cost-effective over time. If you can.
Not to worry about who may like me or not. I try to always be the authentic me. If someone doesn’t like who I am, there are others who do.
My favorite people are all kind, decent human beings.
That life has lessons to be learned all the time. You just have to be open to learning what those lessons are.
There are so many other things I have learned, but I will stop here.
I hope to continue learning life’s lessons in whatever time I have left. I still have room to grow as a person; I am an unfinished product.
Well, said. I, too, still have a lot to learn.