Being thankful before I can't

My yesterdays clearly outnumber my tomorrows

Photo by Xan Griffin on Unsplash

Jim LaJoie 

I never had a birthday that bothered me until I turned 60. Thirty came and went without any emotional pangs. So did 40.  And then 50.  Sixty, though, made me think. 

I am not saying I spent the day in bed obsessed with my mortality. I didn’t. But since turning 60 (and now five additional years) my perspective on life has changed. I no longer see life as a long highway stretching out before me, its destination many, many miles away. No, I realize I am getting closer to the offramp. It still – hopefully – is not in sight, but there are fewer miles ahead. My yesterdays clearly outnumber my tomorrows. 

That realization has not made me dwell obsessively on my mortality or made me bitter. No, it has had a positive effect on me. I now fully realize and embrace the fact that there are a finite number of days – unknown as they are - ahead of me. This has resulted in me more fully appreciating the present, something that has not always come easily to me. 

When you are young you believe you will always be able to spend time with those you care for most. You believe they will always be there, your time with them great and unspent. As you get older, however, you realize the time you have with those you love is not something that should be taken for granted. At some point, that day you spent with a person you care for will be your last. And you won’t realize that until the time has passed – that is, if you are still around. I try to remember this as I lie in bed each night next to my wife, a woman who truly is my soulmate. There will be a day when one of us will not be able to gently reach out to the other in the middle of the night. 

The same can be said of the things you enjoy watching, or listening to, or participating in. For instance, I am a big baseball fan. At some point, there will be a game I watch that will turn out to be my last. I now try to remember that about every single game I have the good fortune to watch. I am thankful for finding something I have enjoyed nearly my entire life. I try not to take that for granted, even with the major league’s long season. 

Take that song that I have loved and enjoyed listening to since I was young, that book I have enjoyed reading several times over the years, or that movie I have watched often and still get a kick out of. One day each of those experiences will be my last. I try to keep that in mind whenever I hear that song, read that book or watch that movie. I try to fully appreciate that moment. 

What about those friends who I have spent countless enjoyable hours with and who may have helped me during a tough time in life? If I haven’t already, I plan on telling them over a beer. Soon. I may not get another chance. I am grateful for friends like these. 

That walk I take on a beautiful day could be my last, so I am going to fully enjoy it and be thankful that I am still ambulatory and not stuck in a bed or a wheelchair. 

Even the job I enjoy – at least most days – I am grateful to have. I am thankful I can use the knowledge and skills I’ve developed over the years. Retirement is in sight, so I appreciate the days I still have employment. 

I did not write this to prattle on about all the things I am grateful for, of which there are many. I didn’t write this as a depressing reflection on aging and mortality. I wrote this to point out that knowing something is limited should make it that much more precious. 

If you are reading this, you are likely someone who has seen a few decades come and go. You, too, have more days in the rearview mirror than on the road ahead. That should make you more appreciative of all the blessings in your life. Just remind yourself to be thankful for them before you can’t. 

About the author: Jim LaJoie is thankful for much in his life.